The Facts of Life The Remix
by Vampireknight86
Summary: I know this is only one short chapter to start out what I plan on being a long story but I wanted to get the first one posted before I was too busy. I own nothing but ideas. What really happened to get Jo sent to Eastland? lots of alternate scenes enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Jo Polniaczek thought she had it going pretty good. Until her mom got off work early to spend some quality time with her daughter. She expected to walk into her daughters room and find her doing homework or working on a part to her motorcycle.

Jo was fascinated by this creature she had just met a few weeks ago.

She had broken up with Eddie for this person. The most beautiful girl she'd ever seen.

Jo and Eddie remained close friends even when joined the Navy. But he knew she wasn't attracted to him at all. She had explained to him that she went with him to cover up her feelings for girls. She knew if her mother ever found out how ashamed and dissapointed she'd be. One thing Jo couldn't bare to see was her mom upset with her actions. But when she saw Jess she couldn't resist the attraction it was so strong. It almost scared Jo but when she and Jess first kissed the fear melted and instead was replaced by a warm feeling they had both never felt before. They had finally got the guts to go farther than kissing. The two were in Jo's room after having skipped school for the day.

They skipped so that they would have enough time to 'do it' and be done before Jo's mom got home. Since Jess' folks lived uptown and her mom stayed at home.

" I love you Jo, are you sure you wa....'' Jess was cut off by Jo's hot mouth on hers. No further discussion was needed. The couple tumbled to the bed and Jo landed on top.

" Oh, Jo!'' Jess moaned between kisses.

And thats when Jo's mom walked in to see her daughter with her hands up another girls shirt.

While kissing excitedly. Rose almost couldn't speak then the anger came. "Joanna Elizabeth Polniaczek! What the hell are you two doing!?''

Jo immediately stood at attention with a look of 'I'm caught' and guilt on her face. While Jess buttoned her sweater back up and quickly stood taking Jo's hand in hers.

" Mom it's ah, not what you think she was layin' on the bed and I tripped over her shoes.'' Jo said making what would've been a plausible excuse. Had her friends shirt not been unbuttoned half way and the two lip locked for a five minutes before noticing someone else in the room.

" Oh, really I don't think so. You! Rose pointed her index finger at Jess. Who are you?''

" Ma this is my lab partner Jess.'' Jo introduced.

" Nice to meet you ma'am, I'm gonna be late for work I'd better go.'' Jess said quickly excusing herself and attempting to run from the small bedroom.

Rose quickly grabbed her by the arm and made her sit on the bed. '' Whoa, wait a minute both of you. You are in serious trouble missy, she said to Jo, And you I'm calling your parents.''

_________________________________________________________________________________

4 months later.

Eastland School for Girls.

Peekskill,New York.

Blair Warner made her annual entrance into the School lounge/Cafeteria.

" Hello Everyone, The her eyes found her two friends. Natalie! Tootie! How Are YOU.'' She exclaimed happily the three girls exchanging hugs and greetings gossipping about their summer away from school.

" Oh, My...GIRLS!''

" Misses Garrett!''

More hugs and chatter.

Then a loud rumbling sound was heard by everyone in the cafeteria.

" What on earth is that sound?'' Mrs. Garett asked aloud.

" It sounds like an army storming the enemy.'' Blair stated just as baffled by the sound as all the other girls.

" No, Blair it's just a motorcycle. Tootie stated looking out the front windows and into the garden.

" Oh, Dear! My Begonias.'' Mrs. Garett said half heartedly.

'' One of the Langley boys is in the wrong place again.'' Natalie said. " Atleast he's cute, like a little lost puppy.''

Meanwhile Outside.

" I can't believe mom sent me to an all girls school so I wouldn't get involved with anyone else.'' Jo said to herself thinking of how redundant of an action that was. " What was she thinkin'?'' Jo asked no one. She grabbed her bags and made her towards the entrance of the school. She stood at the door taking a deep breath giving herself a mental pep talk. " I will not be gay again,besides I bet that all these girls here are bred for one purpose, more breeding.'' With that thought in mind Jo walked into the school.

Two words entered Jo's mind 'rich people' she thought rolling her eyes.

" Who are you?'' Tootie asked.

" Who cares Tootie, he's cuter upclose. High nice to touch you I'm Natalie, I mean nice to meet you. ''

" You're in the wrong place Boys School is two miles west that's that way.'' Blair instructed sarcastically.

" Boy's school you gotta be kiddin'. '' Jo said laughing to herself as she removed he helmet.

" You must be the new student nice to meet you I'm Misses Garett.''

" How'd ya know.''

" Easy I've never seen a motorcycle parked in my flower bed before.'' Mrs Garett replied.

" I'm Tootie.''

" Hey.''

" We already met I'm Natalie.''

'' I can't believe you thought she was boy.'' Blair said in Nat's ear.

" You can't believe it I was gonna ask him to the homecoming dance.'' Natalie responded.

'' Ehemm, Blair don't you want to introduce yourself.''

" Hello I'm Blair Warner.''

" Charmed I'm Gloria Vanderbelt.'' She said shaking the snobby girls hand. '' Oh, I got ya' hand dirty ya' might wanna get that steam cleaned.''

" Girls don't you want to see who you're going to be rooming with?'' Mrs. Garett intercepted.

" Yes who are we getting Misses Garett?'' Blair asked.

" Well why don't you go look they're on the board.''' The older woman replied.

All the girls rushed to the bulletin board to see their room assignments.

" I got Vivian Kingston.'' Natalie said.

" I can't even pronounce the one they put me with. Joanna P-ol-neeah-zek. I'm gonna need an interpreter just to pronounce her name.'' Blair said to the other girls.

" It's P-oll-na-check, and I got your interpreter right here, Nobody jokes about my name.'' Jo defended shaking her fist at the stuck up blonde.

" Natalie why don't you show Jo a better place to park her bike.''

" Why don't I park it on Blairs face.'' Jo said as she made her way around the corner and out the door again.

" Isn't she a breath of fresh air.'' Natalie stated sarcastically following Jo out the door.

______________________________________________________________

Later that evening.

Jo was setting in her dorm reading Motorcycle digest.

Enter Blair who promtply waltzed into the room.

"Oh, Jo?'' The Blonde sing songed in sicky sweet tone.

No response.

" Hey! mister Goodwrench I'm talking to you.''

" No you were talkin' to mista goodwrench, Jo retorted. What is it?''

'' I did some reading up on you, and I found out that you had some special skills.''

" Yeah, well then I guess ya' found out I DONT HELP SNOBS. Jo pronounced slow and loud

asthough she were talking to a small child. What're ya doin' snoopin' around my records anyway?

If ya' wanted to know somethin' about me why not just ask, not that I'd tell ya but...''' Jo trailed.

" Exactly I needed to make sure you'd help me, So I got some insurance.''

Fear hit the pit of Jo's stomach and shot straight up to her throat. '' What could YOU possibly have on me.''

'' Oh, Not much on you but how about Brent Markus Age : 21 Sex M Brown Eyes Brown Hair 5'6'' Tall he sounds dreamy. But sadly it's just ugly old you.'' Blair snuffed as she read the fake I.D.

Jo almost sighed in relief it was just an old Fake I.D. She'd made when she was still able to pass as a guy before the staggering effects of puberty made it almost impossible without binding her chest with an ace bandage. Still it was easier to do that sometimes than to turn guys down all night long when all wanted to do was have a beer. " Alright ya' got me Warner but what do you want from me that you'd need 'insurance' to cover?''

" Easy theres a party at the Chug-A-Lugg and there'll be cute college boys there.''

" So?''

" So...Blair whined. I need a fake I.D. and since no one else at this school is...thuggish enough to know how to make one I want you to make me one..'' The blonde trailed off.

'' And?" Jo questioned further sensing the requests were not over yet.

" And I need you to go with me because.''

" Because ya' don't know what to do when they pick up on ya' it's easy do the whole blue blooded breeder thing, Don't sweat you'll be poppin' out heirs in no time I'm sure they can put a bag over ya' head and make it through.'' Jo smarted.

" No, You barbarian A LADY does not go to a bar alone, and since no men go to this school you'll have to do.'' Blair implied.

" Alright ya heiness I'll go with you, but only because I'm bored as hell sittin' around this place. I need ta' crack some skulls.'' The brunette stated cracking her knuckles.

" You're such a simple life form.''

" Yeah well atleast I know how to make a fire with sticks, you only know how ta' do pluck money off'em.'' Jo responded with fire in her eyes. Why did this woman pick on her constantly it was starting to get under her skin and she could use a drink or to relax with.

'' Atleast my trees have money and not grease rags. Be ready by eight and wear something better than, Blair waved around Jo's outfit, That.'' She walked out of the room.

'' I'll show her dressed up.'' Jo said with an evil grin.

__________________________________________________________________

Later that evening.

Outside Eastland by Jo's bike.

Blair came around the corner dressed in a pair of designer jeans and a lacey top. That was so white it made her blonde hair seem to glow.

" What! in the world are you wearing Jo?!'' The brunette was dressed in bleached jeans, plaid button down shirt, with a white shirt underneath and had chopped of her pony tale.

" Clothes princess, unlike you I don't shop at Barbies 'r' us.''

Jo grinned. " Oh, I'll just say you're my youger brother if any guys try to pick me up. I don't want them to think I'm taken.'' Blair explained in sarcasm.

"Yeah, well I'll just tell'em you're my pet dog.'' Jo responded.

" I'm going to go to my clothes storage locker of new designer dresses downstairs. I'll be ready by..''

" By the time the new Ice Age rolls around I know.'' Jo sighed as Blair left the room. Jo then got off her bed and opened up her storage chest. She pulled out a white button down shirt and a black tie.

*****

Later that evening after the dinner crowd had receded and Mrs. Garett had gone to bed. Blair snuck through the kitchen and out of the building. She snuck up to Jo's Bike but no Jo.

" Jo? Blair whispered loudly. Where are you Jo?''

Just then Jo tapped the blond on the shoulder nearly scaring her to death. Much to Jo's amusement.

" I'm so glad you think that my almost having a heartattack is so funny.'' Blair huffed then she turned around completely and saw Jo standing there in a leather jacket, white shirt,black tie and bleached jeans with holes in the knees. Casual definately but still dressy for maybe a college student.

Blair didn't say anything at first but Jo looked really good for Jo that was. '' Well it's nice to see even grease monkeys can clean up now and then.''

" Thanks, same for you gorillas I see.'' Jo teased taking in the sight of the spoiled blonde in a gypsy style skirt and white short sleeved blouse and just enough makeup. Then climbed on the bike and the two of them sped off in the night.

____________________________________________________________________

The Chug-a-lug Bar and Grill

About twenty minutes later the girls arrive at Blair's destination. Jo parked her bike in the parking lot. Jo quickly hopped off the bike and helped Blair off. Jo had to laugh when Blair stumbled when she stood up. The blondes legs were wobbly from the vibration of the bike.

"Oh, Jo said stopping Blair from going any farther. I almost forgot, The dark haired girl reached into the back pocket of her jeans and pulled out her wallet. Opened up the aged leather and pulled out the I.D. for Blair. Here, don't say I neva gave ya' anything.''

" Right like I'd tell anyone if you did.'' Blair shot back.

As they aproached the door Blair paused as if she were waiting for something.

Jo rolled her eyes. '' What now princess ya' afraid a doorknobs or somethin'?''

" No but a Warner never opens a door we walk through an entrance.'' The blonde heiress stated.

" What do I look like ya' chaeuffer?'' Jo smart mouthed.

" Well you did just drive us here on that scrap heap.'' Blair shot back.

" Hey! that's a '65 Kawasaki it's gonna be a classic someday.''

" Yeah, Blair snorted, When cars fly on recycled garbage I'm sure it'll be priceless. Now open the door like a good gentleman.''

" Whateva, here she comes Miss America.'' Jo got in before they entered.

Jo flashed her I.D. at the bouncer and then waited for Blair to do the same. Then the two girls marched up to the bar and Jo odered.

" Two Brews.''

" Only one brew I'll have a beer.'' Blair corrected getting an odd look from the bartender.

________________________________________________________________________

Back at Eastland.

Mrs. Garett recieved a phone call from the dean's office saying that a hall monitor saw Blair and Jo leave the building right before curfew but they never came back.

" Yes, Oh really, I see...no I haven't seen them. But trust me you'll know when I do.'' Mrs. Garrett hung up the phone and shook her fist in the air. " Those girrls are gonna kill me.''

Just then Tootie and Natalie walked into the kitchen in their robes and pajama's.

" Oh, good misses Garrett you're up. Nat and I can't sleep we were hoping for some of your hot milk with the cinnamon in it to make us sleepy.'' Tootie explained.

" Girls I'll get you the milk with one condition, have you seen Blair and Jo?'' The older woman asked desperately.

" No Misses G we haven't but Blair was all hung up about meeting some college guy at club called the 'Ching-A-Ling?...''

" No, it was the 'Chubby-Hubby'.'' Tootie corrected Natalie.

" You mean they went to the Chug-A-Lug, Oh my. I've gotta go girls.''

" Well hang on Misses G we're comin' too.''

All three girls rushed out of the building.


	2. Chapter 2

First off before you read excitedly, I'm sorrry for the long wait I've been swamed at work and home. Thank you to all who read my work and I'm going to be a published author soon feel free to check the book preview and comment on /Paintslpash86

Chapter 2.

''Misses Garrett I think there was a speed limit sign back there but I couldn't tell cause we were going too fast.'' Tootie said a little anxious at the speed her mentor was going.

'' You know Mrs. G you should really think about running the Indy five hundred that is if we survive.'' Natalie bantered.

" Calm down girls it's like I'm going ninety miles an hour or any-----Edna looked at the sedometer and her face froze, Oh, dear maybe I could slow down a bit.''

_____________________________________________________________________

At the bar.

So far Blair had only managed to strike u conversation with an older man who could've been her father. Although he was in better shape and still had all his own hair. Jo was on the other side of her blonde artner in crime. Quiet she sat and siped her mug of beer.

Until they heard tires acreeching on the pavement outside the bar. Everyones heads turned to see what wronged soul walked through tthe glass doors. It juat happened to be that of Edna Garrett.

She walked through the doors with her little purse thrown over her right shoulder. The older woman was immediately greeted by a very tall,musclebound bouncer who had atleast two feet of height on her.

The red headed older woman spotted Jo and Blair immediately. " GIRLS!" She exclaimed.

" Misses Garrett! Blair exclaimed. Both she and Jo looked at each other with panicked eyes. Uh,Oh.'' they both stated.

" Alright you're both coming with me HOME nnnnoooww.'' She growled grabbing both girls by the arm and dragging them to the door.

" Hold it ladies nobodies goin' anywhere, Officer Smith Peekskill PD. These two are under arrest for underage drinking and falsifying legal documentation of their age.'' The man Blair had been talking to said holding up his badge for everyone to see.

"Oh, my. Edna said shocked, Then she put a nice smile and in her sweetest pleading voice, Officer surely you could just let them this is their first offense and they didn't hurt anybody. These girls are from Eastland Academy.''

" My daughter goes to elementary school there, The cop said, Too bad their standards are slipping.'' He continued looking at Blair and Jo.

" The standards aren't slipping we just believe in learning from what life gives us. Although I'm not sure what we can learn from this. Now what'll it take for this to go away?'' Edna probed.

" Lady, are you really trying to bribe an officer of the law?''

The Cop cuffed Jo and Blair together. Then he went for Edna thats when two young girls in their PJ's ran through the door and between the bouncer's legs grabbing beer pitchers and pouring them upside the officers head.

" Alright thats it everybodies under arrest!!" The cop yelled, "Everybody to the car!''

__________________________________________________________________________

Peekskill P.D. 12:30 A.M.

Holding cell 1 contained Edna,Natalie and Tootie

Holding Cell: 2 contained Jo and Blair alone

" This is all your fault ya know.'' Jo accused.

" MY FAULT, Blair said incredulously, You could've sad no to me.''

" I DID.'' Jo stated getting up in the heiresses face. 'God she smells good I wish I could just kis...don't you can't think that stuff or you'll hurt your mother.' The motorcyclist thought to herself.

" What are you doing?''

'' Nuthin' princess poodle.''

" You looked like you were going to..'' Blair trailed almost afraid of saying the words.

" Like I was about to knock ya' so hard all the money popped out. Well lucky for you I don't hit girls.'' Jo said loosening her tie and undoing her top collar button. The blush on her face wasn't from anger and blood pressure though.

" No like you were going to do this.'' Blair turned the stubborn girl around and planted one right on her lips it was over before it began. Jo's eyes bugged out then she relaxed and shoved Blair away.

" I can't okay.'' Jo said self-deprecatingly.

" What,Why can't you?''

Jo began to explain her past to the blonde through teary eyes.

________________________________________________________________________

Meanwhile in the next cell. Edna was beginning to hyperventilate.

" Ooohhhh those girls are going to be the death of me yet.'' The older woman said as she took a brown paper sack out of her purse unfolded it and began breathing into the paper chamber.

" Yeah, well Blair and Jo are the least of my worries right now. Nat chimed. When my mother finds out I don't know what she's gonna do first. Have a massive heartattack and then kill me, Or kill me first then die from embarassment?''

" You think thats tough my parents are gonna dissown me, 'That little black girl no she's not ours send to the orphanage.' Tootie added.

" Oh, girls it's true you're in trouble, but you're parents are not going to die,dissown or decapitate any of you. True you assaulted a police officer and you entered a bar at the ages of twelve and fourteen. But hey look on the bright side you'll get way ahead of the other students with all that detention assuming of course. That you're not...'' Edna quieted letting her sentence linger in the air.

" What misses G or I'm gonna beat my mom to the massive I can already feel my left arm going numb and my vision is blurred.'' Natalie stated.

" Nat, you're laying on your left arm and your vision is blurred because it's three hours past our bed time.'' Tootie said to her panic ridden friend. " Seriously misses Garrett what is it, I need to know so I can put my affairs in order before the funeral?''

" Expelled.'' Edna finished.

Just then an officer came up to the door and unlocked it. " Misses Garrett you're free to go along with your two guests there.''

"And Blair Warner and Jo Polniazeck what about them?''

" I'm sorry Ma'am but they'll have to stay the night unless bail can be paid or a deal can be negotiated.''

" Thank you officer I'll see what I can do. Come on girls as they say in the movies lets blow this joint.'' Edna said as she and the girls left.

_____________________________________________________________

In the occupied cell.

Jo had finished telling Blair her life story well most of it anyway.

" Oh, Jo it's not all that bad is it, You're mom doesn't hate she just wants whats best for you. She thinks that's this school. Look on the bright side you've only been here a couple of weeks and already you've made a big impression on everybody.'' Blair said to her sullen friend.

" Oh, yeah I got blackmailed into forging I.D.'s, entering a bar underage,drinking underage and assaulting an officer, not to mention resisting arrest,and my bike's impounded. What next?'' Jo said pacing and throwing her arms in the air.

At that very moment the jail cell doors opened and in came...


	3. Chapter 3

**THE FACTS OF LIFE ( THE REMIX) ****Chapter 3 You Walked in and all the air went out !**

** Rating PG-13ish for some violence,mild language and Jo-Blair insults of course later there will**

** special kisses too !! I want apologize to all of my dear readers and fans on here for being so neglectful.**

** But I have recently gotten a novel of mine published and it will be out DEC. 26th in stores and for special order in other places.**

** If ya'll want to support a starving artist and enjoy some more good reading while you're at it you can order the book**

** now straight from the publisher at**

**At that very moment the jail cell doors opened and in came...TROUBLE**

**A girl that looked so tough she might actually out do Jo in the butch department. **

**Blair almost snorted at the thought that someone could actually out do Jo at anything. **

**She'd only known the street smart ruffian for almost 24 hours now. Already she was positive no one could or would ever beat Jo in her mind. Still as the high society girl she was she decided not to voice her opinions just yet and opted to hide behind Jo for protection. Meanwhile Jo and the new jailbird looked each other over acknowledging one anothers dominance like the alpha's they were.**

**'' 'Sup ?'', alpha stranger said to alpha Jo.**

**" Nuthin' whatcha in for ? '' Jo came back.**

**" Assault and armed robbery it woulda been murder but the guy lived. You?'' **

**Blair ran up and grabbed Jo's strong shoulder for comfort. '' I offed her old man so we could run off togetha but not in a gay way. We're just friends.'' **

**" Ahuh, my names Chris. and the top bunk is mine.'' Said the villainous young woman still eyeing Blair with lust in her eyes. Blair had the shivers and not in a good way when the stone cold woman looked at her that way. **

**" Jo, why is she looking at me like..like THAT ?'' Blair asked her cellmate in a whispered tone.**

**" ' Cause blondie she wants ya to be her prison pal like in the shawshank redemption.'' **

**" Oh, my God Jo do something..'' Blair ordered panicked and now holding onto Jo's coat collar.**

**" Just be calm , I won't let her get that close to you, Just stick close to me 'kay?'' Jo instructed her rich comrad. **

**" Okay, I just wish I could have a blanket these cells are completely inadequitely heated.'' Blair added as she and Jo sat huddled next to each other on the lower bunk.**

**Jo took her blazer off and laid it over the shivering girls shoulders. The two girls fell asleep like that. Blairs head on Jo's shoulder peacefully slumbering.**

**Their peacefull dreams were interrupted. When Jo awoke to the sounds of blair yelping with a pocket knife to her neck. **

**" Gimme the damn watch I know it's worth atleast a grand on the street. Kids want these things more than crack. NOW GIVE IT TO ME !" Chris ordered.**

**Jo heard this and stayed still for a few moments. When she saw that Chris wasn't going anywhere. The brunette Bronx native took her tie off then slowly and quietly snuck up behind the violent femme. Carefully with skill Jo quickly looped the tie around Chris' neck and pulled. When the curly haired villain dropped the knife. " Run Blair NOW ! '' Jo yelled. **

**Blair did just that and then yelled for and officer. At first the policeman who was of slow whit anyway it seemed. Thought that Jo was causing the problem then Blair pointed out the knife laying on the ground in front of the now tied up Chris was hers. The officer couldn't believe it Jo had saved someone from being hurt. **

**" Where did you have that knife McHauley ? We searched you when you were booked.'' The puzzled officer thought outloud as her handcuffed the girl and dragged her to an empty cell. **

**'' Wouldn't you like to know?'' Chris said to the officer cryptically raising her eyebrows and smirking evilly. **

**Soon as the cop had gone back to his desk and away from the girls. Blair rushed to Jo and hugged her tightly crying. **

**" Whoa, easy princess I don't wanna put on a show or nuthin' . '' Jo said awkwardky waving her arms about.**

**" You saved my life Jo. Thank you.'' Blair said teary eyed and sniffling.**

**" Ya' welcome now please stop this mushy crap I'm not sunshine bear.'' Jo said pushing away from Blairs embrace of thankfulness. ' Oh, God her hair smells good like lavender ' The biker thought.**

**" Fine, Blair snorted, Whats your problem I was merely showing my gratitude for your saving me.'' **

**" Sorry, I just don't do the whole touchy feely thing that well , You're welcome an' all but please no pda's alright. '' **

**" Yeah, whatever. I'll make sure you are properly thanked with a large gift.'' Blair reacted. ' She wants to play hardball two can play the same game. I have to ask some of the servants what hardball is then I'll play it with Jo until my head turns purple and steam comes out of my GUCCI bag.' The aristacrat thought to herself.**

**" Girls , stop pouting, as they say in the movies you're sprung now lets get out of here shall we ?'' Edna said suddenly changing the mood from one of solitary confinement of the heart to one of momentary happiness. **

**About ten minutes later just long enough for three commercials featuring stars you didn't yet know advertising the wonders of pepto Bismal and Barbie. **

**Edna had all the girls lined up on a police bench She stood before the teens and tweens. **

**All waited with anticipation of their punishment thinking they'd most like have to mop the hallways and clean toilets for the next four to six years. **

**" Well you've really done it this time girls, I had to haggle and argue for you four felons all night with the Dean of the school and his board of scandal hating snoots. Hold on girls Edna needs an aspirin. '' The red headed dietician quickly fetched a caplet from her bag and got a small paper cup of water and downed the pain reliever. **

**" So what is it, whats our punishment Missed G ? '' Natalie asked cautiously.**

**" The most severe one you've all been expelled. '' **

**" Oohs and Ahhs,'' fell over the gaggle of girls. **

**" What do you mean expelled I'm a Wariner , Wariner's don't get expelled I'm sure if you talk to my father he'll clear this whole mess up.'' **

**" Oh, I have Blair. In fact I have spoken with all your parents and they are in complete agreement on your expulsion.'' **

**" There has to be a way we can stay and still be punished for what we did.'' Tootie stated.**

**Jo had made her mind up, She stood and looked at Mrs. Garrett with those puppy dog brown eyes. '' Look Mrs. Grarrett it all my idea to go to that stupid bar in the first place. Can't ya let the other girls stay and kick me out ?'' **

**Edna placed her hands on the young womans shoulders and smiled empathetically. " Oh, Jo thats so nice, only here for a day and already you're lying for the other girls. No. '' Edna replied. Jo shrugged her shoulders with tie still undone swinging loosely around her neck and her shirt unbuttoned at the very top Blair glanced carefully and notice the strong muscular collar bone sticking out. **

**" I'm afraid the only way you can all stay is if you live outside of the dormatories permanently.'' Edna explained. **

**" Where would we stay it's not like we can all call our dad's and ask for townhouse apartments.'' Natalie anounced.**

**" Thats the whole point Natalie they don't want us anymore we're delinquents.'' Jo explained in sardonic tones.**

**" You would all stay in the upstairs aparment above the cafeteria ..with me.'' Misses Garrett added. '' And you all have to work in the cafeteria until you graduate. '' **

**The girls huddled and discussed the subject momentarily. **

**" We'll do it misses G.'' Tootie and Natalie said with raised hands. The younger girls then nudged the older two. **

**" Well I suppose some charity work wouldn't kill me fine I'll do it.'' Blair stated.**

**The blonde prodded Jo's rib with her elbow. " Ow, alright, alright I'm in.'' The brunette automatically raised her hand too. **

**" Well I'm glad you all like the idea of living with me so much you had to put it to a vote.'' Edna commented sarcastically. " Come on girls lets go home we've got alot of work to do before monday.**

** The girls finally arrived home at and staggered in the cafeteria doors at a whopping 5:00 AM. Even Jo who was usually a night owl was exhausted. **

** The older woman led the tuckered out teens upstairs to the once private living quarters now turned dorm room to the four misled youth.**

** The girls looked at the mess that greeted them instead beds there were broomsticks,old books,paint cans, etc. You name it was there. **

** Jo turned on a dime the three other girls followed. " Well girls I must say that was the most coordinated domino effect I've seen since that video on the MTV.'' Edna joked dryly.**

** " This can't be, I..I can't sleep here among...other people I'm a Wariner and Wariner's need their private beauty sleep.'' Blair whined whilst choking on dust mites after having moved the lid off a box covered in dust. **

** " Yeah, misses Garrett she's right.'' Jo agreed.**

** " You think so, Oh Jo thanks for sticking with me on this..'' Blair squeaked happily.**

** " Of course I do , Who wants to sleep next to someone who probably snores in latin.'' Jo smarted looking Blair over with narrowed smirk.**

** " Well, if you hate the idea of sleeping in the same room with me that much then I'll stay here just to annoy you.'' Blair cameback.**

** " I shoulda known once these demons learn ya' name they torture ya' foreva' . '' Jo added in a more lowered tone. The two girls were now eye to eye with one another and neither one of them was blinking. **

** " ALRIGHT ! that Enough!'' The older woman exclaimed stepping between the rich blonde and the butch brunnette. " Now if no one likes the arrangement you all have to go. No if's, and's , or buts about it. That's the way the dean and your parents decided it. If you can't get along I'll have no c hoice but to call your parents and have them come get you all.'' **

** The small room was silenced with that revelation. The teenagers all looked at each other and the floor in shame. **

** Jo spoke up. '' I'm sorry misses Garrett. I wanna stay even if I do hafta sleep in the same room with her.'' **

** " Me too.'' Blair agreed. **

** " Yeah, us too. Natalie and Tootie both nodded. We practically grew up here we wouldn't know what to do at another school.''**

** ''It's like we're all family here, even if I am the only woman of color in a sea of white sisters.'' Tootie commented jokingly.**

** " Alright then everyone grab something and start cleaning. I'm gonna take a nap. I've got two hours before I have to rise and shine. And feed a bunch of teenage hogs.'' **

** " Goodnight Misses G.'' All the girls said.**

** " Goodluck girls.'' **

**End Episode one stay tuned for Ep 2 when Jo gets a gentleman caller or does she, Natalie discovers shes a sleepwalking cookie monster and Tootie learns to hate white people with the stock boy...And Edna learns how to hyperventilate while saying 'girls , girls, GIRLS !'' **


	4. Chapter 4

The Facts of Life ( The Remix)

Chapter 4 episode 2,

" Jo, help me with my bags.'' Blair ordered like the mechanic was a regular servant.

" Gee I'd love to Blair but ya' didn't say the magic words.'' Jo said with feux sincerity grinning.

On the inside Blair was already steaming, not to mention Jo had on a tight white t-shirt that showed her muscular arms and shoulders off and it was making the rest Blair's blood over heat. " I'm a Wariner , Wariners don't say please. It's just a given to have someone help us with our luggage.''

" Actually I didn't mean that magic word.'' Jo grumbled distractedly she was busy wroking on a carborater.

" What is the magic word..? I'm just dying to know.'' Blair asked her tone dripping with sarcasm.

Jo stood up from the desk where she was working and sighed. '' Alls ya' had ta say was ' help me with my bags and I'll give ya' a tip'. " The brunette answered.

" A tip !'' Blair exclaimed incredulously. " How much are we talking about here ?''

" Oh, I don't want money.." Jo gleamed.

" Well then what else could you po-...''

" Time to myself in this room..without you hangin' ova' my shoulda' all the time. I'm startin' ta' feel like a NASA science project. And anotha' thing I want ya' to keep your stuff offa' my bed and outta my area. '' Jo commanded throwing a heap of the Aristocrats clothes off of her own bed. " And tha' next time I hafta' fall on a pair a these shoes I'm gonna glue'em togetha'. '' Jo hollered her voice becoming louder and her face becoming redder by the moment.

" Girls, girls what is the commotion about , Oh, I should've it was you two. I swear you and Blair fight like two scorned lovers. " Edna stated coming through the door without knocking to get to the bottom of the latest quarrel.

" I'm sorry Misses G, but Blair is suffocating me her clothes are always on my bed, her shoes are under it." Jo explained. " Would you please tell'er to stay outta my area with her face creams, and her perfumes, and condtioners. I swear sometimes I walk in here and think I'm in a drug store. Jo deadpanned. I look around for tha' checkout stand. "

" She's one to talk you know, " Blair stated moving closer to her angered roomate and pointed her thumb at the Bronx native. " It's not easy sleeping next to Mister Goodwrench." The Blonde added flatly.

" Okay, What started all of this in the first place?" The dietition enquired.

" I asked Jo if she would help me with my bags. Then she just lost it. " Blair explained.

" No you never asked me anything you just ordered me around like I'm ya' little servant boy. Well I'm not princess toad !" Jo exclaimed angrily.

" Alright ! Enough, if you two can't get along with each other and you can't respect one anothers privacy. Then I am herefore confiscating all of your property for a week. If at the end of that week you two can possibly bare the other ones company. Then you will get your things back. " Edna ordered going out into the storage closet and pulling out two empty cardboard boxes. She set down on the work table in front of the now speachless teens. " Here I expect all of your things except for toothbrushes and night clothes in this box anything else that you both need can be kept in the bathroom bag you each recieved when you first got here this year. Now I have a cookie eating monster to catch. I'll be back to retrieve the boxes before dinner shift. "

" I swear that woman gets enjoyment out torturing us." Blair commented.

" Well I'm sure she learned from the best." Jo added glaring at the wealthy blonde insinuatingly.

Jo started to pack up her motorcycle mags,model cars,etc.

Meanwhile Blair began packing up her entire line of cosmetics, beauty enhancers, shoes,dresses and any other things she couldn't go a day without. But now had to go a whole week without.

Now of course Edna was setting up mousetraps in the kitchen. Then in the cookie dough bowl she was putting a few special ingredients flour,water and mint flavoring to be exact or as it's reffered to on the streets mint Paste. " Fix whomever is eating the cookie dough be it man or mouse. " Edna chimed with a sure smirk.

Just then Natalie walked into the kitchen with a tray full dirty dishes. With all of her strength she heaved the heaping tray onto the counter by the large sink. Then collapsed on the still vacant half of the counter top. " That was too much manual labor for me Jo's supposed to be the heavy lifter around here where is she anyway ?"

" Jo and Blair are both packing their things, It's part of their punishment-"

" Misses Garrett !" Natalie ghasped in shock covering her mouth like she'd just heard good gossip. " What did they do to get kicked out ? Does this mean we'll all be expelled..? Don't just stand there Misses G give it to me straight I wanna know if I'm gonna be livin' on the streets ?"

" Well if you'd let me finish Natalie, their packing their things because they can't get along with the assigned space. So until they can learn to respect one anothers space and privacy I'm withholding. Jo's things from her and..."

Edna was cut off for a second time by the overzealous teen. " And beauty cream and clothes from Blair.. Natalie let out a sad sigh. You shoulda told me it was a sign of the apocalypse. You've just ended the world Misses Garrett. " She added serious sounding as she sat down in the chair by the kitchen phone. " I knew it I'm gonna die nevering having been kissed by a boy. "

" Oh, Natalie.." Edna shook her hands and head in amusement. " I'm sure Blair can learn to live without Oil of Olay for a week. Just like Jo can go without those motorbike magazines she reads. And you'll live to kiss a boy I bet several of them. Now do you feel better. "

" I was feeling better until you said their punishment was a whole week. A week to a sixteen year old girl without makeup and shopping. It's like a year at sea with no human contact. They're gonna kill everybody you wait and see Misses G. " Nat gauranteed.

Edna's eyes bulged as the realization of what she'd done hit her. Her stomach sank and she took a deep breath in and stood. " Oh, my what have I done. I've doomed us all. "

CUT SCENE.

Next morning

5:00 A.M.

Bedroom of Edna's four delinquents : )

All was peaceful and serene until Blair woke up for what was usually the beginning of her beauty routine. When she reached the bathroom and realized she had nothing to do but shower,brush her teeth and wash her face. This was also the time Jo gave extra attention to her bike but her tools had gone to Edna's bedroom. So all Jo could do was shower and brush same as her jail mate.

A sudden clanging noise from downstairs startled the girls. Jo grabbed a baseball bat out of the closet and tip-toed down the stairs and into the kitchen with Blair peeking over her broad shoulders the whole time. Like a mouse peering out his hole in the wall.

" Jo, I'm scared what if someones breaking in and trying to steal things that rich people have. "

" Then be quiet and act poor.''

" I don't know how...Jo ?"

'" What ! Jo whispered loudly.

" Teach me ?'' Blair said pleadingly.

" Blair blow it out ya' pie hole will ya' or I'm leavin' you ta' the princess nabbers. '' Jo looked annoydley at the rich girl.

Heading down the last few steps together. Jo felt like a caveman with a baseball bat in her hand and a frail woman peeking over her shoulder. Boy have I gotta write to Hanna Babara about this. They reached the landing Blair pulling tighter on Jo's pajama collar. Jo extended her left arm out towards the wall and flipped the switch to the lights.

Blair jumped when she saw someone covered in a white coating and pushed Jo forward " Take her she's poor !"

" Mmmm....mmmm. mmhhmm. " The paste covered individual stammered.

" Blair it's Nat. " Jo deadpanned with an eyeroll.

" I don't care which one your hoodlum friends it is. I'm too pretty to be held captive in a warehouse while hunky boys tie me up and serve my every whi--- Blair stopped hiding in a corner and ran in front of Jo this time. Take me now I wanna be kidnapped I'm totally rich !" The aristocrat anounced with ten karat smile.

Jo gave a grossed out look at her roomate. " No you idiot it's Natalie I think she's sleep walkin' . "

" Sleep walking what do we do ? I'm prepared for ugly, dry skin , pimples and bad hair days. I don't know anything about sleep walking." The blonde looked puzzled sure she'd heard of it but never actually seen it.

" Lemme guess Warners don't sleep walk they just get more wealthy in their dreams right ? " Jo added shaking her head. To which the heiress just glared. " We can't wake her up I read in health class that if we wake up a sleep walker we could cause'em ta have amnesia. "

" But Jo we have to get that blob of paste off of her or she'll suffocate. " Blair added with concern for her friend.

" True maybe we can getter in tha' shower and get that stuff offa her. "

" Good idea..wait did I just say that to you ? I must be losing my mind. " Blair shook her head baffled at her words.

" Ya' gonna be dead meat if ya' shut up and help me walk night of the livin' dead here to the bathroom. " Jo snarked.

" Yes sir right away. "

About a half an hour later they finally got the sleepwalking journalist to be. Up the flight of stairs and into the bathroom shower. The two girls got soap and wash cloths and began prying the paste off of their friend.

Natalie woke up in the middle of this and scared the hell out of both girls.

**" What are you tryin' to do kill me !** " The sleepwalking girl exclaimed wild and wide eyed.

That was enough to wake up the rest of the house. Including Edna who had been having wonderful dream that she was dancing with Fred Astair.

**" WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE ...!** " Edna exclaimed loudly anouncing her prescence amongst the four girls.

" Misses Garett they've snapped instead of trying to kill each other they've joined forces and they litterally tried to drown me in the shower. Oh that'll make a great headline for the school paper. ** ' Wealthy Warner , Poor Polniaczek join forces in Campus killing spree !' I 've gotta get a pen I'm getting the exclusive. " Before Jo or Blair could explain. Natalie collapsed at their feet. Asleep Jo caught her head before it hit the floor. **

" See Mrs. G. We were trying to get that paste stuff off of Natalie's face. We went downstairs thinking there was a burglar. But it wasn't it was Nat she's the midnight cookie monster. We had ta' get the paste off her or else she woulda' suffocated. "

" Yeah misses Garrett Natalie was sleepwalking. " Blair added to Jo's explanation.

" Oh, dear I see well then shows over lets get Natalie to bed. People only sleepwalk when they're under extreme amounts of stress. Edna explained to the girls while straightening Natalies covers over her pajama clad snoring form. I guess Natalie was under too much stress with the school paper. They've been trying to find a headline for their teen violence awareness week. She must've figured one out thats why she fell right back asleep. When you two startled her awake. Well I've got a kitchen to clean. "

" Hold, up misses G. I'll help ya' I'm awake now anyway." Jo followed.

" Me too, I mean I'm not sure what all cleaning entails but I'm willing to learn. If mister goodwrench here'll help me learn that is. " Blair joined.

Nudging Jo in the arm. " Ow yeah alright I'll help, geez woman do ya' hafta do that to me everytime you want me to agree with ya' ? "

" Yep. "

" I guess I'll go with you guys I'm awake now after that scream. " Tootie said tiredly following the bunch.

Cut scene End chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

The facts of life the remix part 5

Alright now I know i've been slow and possibly frustating to some if not all of you

with not skimming over all the subtext and letting our two ladies just ravage each however I promise in this chapter there will be some good Jo / Blair moments : ) Thanks to all 4 readin'

**Episode 2 part 2 **

**Modern Dating in the eighties**.

" The old way of course would be for the boy / man to ask a girl/ Woman out on friday or saturday night.

Now at days things have changed a bit Jim Johnson has our Dating in the Eighties special report. Live from a singles bar."

Jo sat vegged out on the sofa clicking through the channels and stopping on a particularly amusing ( to Jo herself anyway) News report. She watched while countless men and women in the singles bar tried to decide who was to hit on whom exactly.

" I bet they don't have any advice for would be lesbians who're in like with their blonde and completely conceited roomate. " Jo mused with a sly grin.

The brunette teenager heard footsteps coming down the stairs in her direction. She quickly changed the station to one showing an old movie with Fred Astaire. It was of course her worst nightmare Blair Warner interfearing with her late night alone time. Jo used this time to reflect and remind herself why she had yet to acknoweledge the small but passionate kiss the two had shared. The biker knew she could and had come to terms with being gay. However something she would never come to terms with was breaking her mothers heart. This was why Jo had tried her damndest to stay away from the blonde heiress. Something in her heart however wouldn't let be completely cut off from the young woman who was at this moment in time flopping down next to the mechanic in her pink silk pajama's.

" Jo I need to talk to you about something. '' Blair began slowly. She hadn't slept nearly a night in the three weeks since they were hauled off to jail and expelled only to be re-instated and having to live with Edna and forced to share a bathroom with four other women. It was absolutely un-holy trying to shower in the morning let alone have a beauty ritual. Though this was not the problem facing her sleeplessness. Currently it was the dark haired woman in the striped black pajama pants and white v-neck tee that was causing her restless nights.

Jo huffs mindlessly clicking the remote control. " I think I know whatcha wanna talk about princess. ''

Blair went wide eyed could the brunette street thug possibly be thinking along the same lines as her. The blonde felt a chill up her spine and into her arms just thinking about the possiblility. " You do..?''

" Yeah. " Jo replied simply turning her head slightly to the left to view the girl setting next to her. Just the closeness of sharing a part of the couch cushions with the rich girl made Jo feel warm and excited all over. " We need ta' get a VCR. "

Blair grabbed ahold of a throw pillow and let the bronx native have it right in the gut. " You incensitive oaf, that is not what I wanted to talk about and you know it. " The heiress exploded.

" Well what then..? Cause ya' not puttin one drop a oil of old lady on my mug. " Jo retorted grabbing the affending pillow from the bottle blond princess.

" I wanna talk about the night in the jail cell..you know where we shared that impromptu liplock. "

" Oh , yeah you mean when ya' stuck ya' tongue down my throat like a stomach pumper. " Jo did not want to talk about this all she wanted to do was find ' I Dream Of Genie rerun and let off some steam' The blond had other plans it seemed tonight atleast relief and rest were not going to come.

" I did not use my tongue and may I just say you weren't exactly mad about the events. " The pink pajama'd heiress huffed turning herself away from her roomate.

Jo sighed she didn't want to hurt Blair she really cared about the girl. But did she have to press these things at three in the morning. The tough girl extended her arm out reaching around a pink silk covered shoulder. She kept the extended appendage still waiting for her rich roomate to notice that she was attempting to settle the squabble. Blair looked to her right shoulder feeling something warm and not attached to her own body there. She immediately noticed Jo's arm and her face lit up happily.

" Oh, Jo I knew you cared about me too ! " Blair exclaimed in a loud whisper turning herself to face her friend once more she kissed her sweetly on the cheek.

" Alright, Alright I care about ya' Blair we have to be careful if my mom finds out I'm getting on with a member of the same well make again. She'll dissown me and throw me ta' tha wolves. Now can I watch my tv show. " Blair gave her more than friend a suspicious look. " Fine Blair would ya' like ta' watch I dream of Genie with me ?"

" I never thought you'd ask my dear. " Blair replied handing Jo the remote control back and settling herself as close to Jo as she could possibly get. Resting her head on the Bronx Tomboys shoulder.

The Next Day 12: 00 P.M. Lunch Break.

Jo was defeating some of the varsity football team members at a milk chugging contest. So far she had been kicking but until they sent in their biggest weapon. His name was Bobby 'the baracade' Hill he was a big boy from Texas standing at six foot five and three hundred twenty four pounds. Bobby was a one man eating machine and their top chugging contest winner. Of course Jo knew she was about to lose but she went out with dignity shaking hand with the big man and congratulating him with her cookie from lunch.

" Well, aren't you a good sportsman..? Thats an admirable quality I wish more of us guys had. " Commented Jake Rappaport. He was the captain of the Varsity team and very goodlooking. Any girl that saw him immediately hit puberty and started throwing training bras to him. He was good and Jo knew he was a dog but still it was a surprise to her atleast that someone with so many other options would be hitting on her. She decided to let him make his case before turning him down.

" Yeah, Well look at me and look at him I knew I was sunk, so I figure betta' to lose sportsman like that to be all mad about it. Theres always better , bigga' milk drinker out there. " Jo deadpanned her last sentence.

" Good point, so I've been watching you for the last couple of weeks and I like you Jo. I think you're a real nice girl and I've got these concert tickets to see The Police this friday at the stadium. I was gonna take my buddy but he got tackled wrong at the last game and broke his leg in three places. The only concert he's going to for awhile are the ones caused by Vicadine and Dimmeral. Would you like to go with me Jo ? "

" Oh, gee Jake I-I'm not really that into date-" Jo couldn't argue that much who would worry about a silly little thing like their preference when Sting tickets were on the line.

" It doesn't have to be a date we could just be going as friends ya know. Friends do things together like go to concerts and movies- "

" Alright if it's just as friends I'll go I can't so no to Sting and the Police. But you betta' not try any funny stuff with me or I'll show you just how bad a sportsman I can be. " Jo warned with a doubled up fist.

Of course Natalie and Tootie the school informants / gossip mongers were the first to get word of this. So by the time three o'clock rolled around it was old news to the whole school.

Blair was the picture of calm she wasn't freaking out at all. Atleast not so that anyone could notice. Inside however she was writhing with anger so much so that if were an animal she'd have diagnosed with rabies by now. So naturally when Jo walked into the shared room Nat and Tootie left in a scurry like mice toward safety from an impending cat chase.

Finally Jo was home and the two children were away, Blair could calmly express her true feelings.

" What the hell are you doing with Jake Rappaport friday night !"

'" Uh, I'm going to a Police concert with him why what have you heard ? " Jo redirected sensing she was in hot water.

" Oh, not much only everything from you're going steady to this one time at football camp... " Blair grabbed hold of the collar on Jo's military jacket and throttled her. " Perhaps you could fill in the blanks to that one.."

" Okay I'm not sure about that one but we're only going as friends. I only said yes on that condition plus it's Sting and the Police. I'd have gone with Jack the ripper if he had tickets to see them. " Jo explained trying to bail herself out of the sinking canoe she'd built.

" My great great great grandaddy knew him I'll just call up the cemetary and see that can't be arranged. "

'" Now you've lost me, What ?"

" No one goes out with Jake Rappaport as just friends and comes home walking straight. He's a D-O-G you think you're actually going to get to the concert much less see it. Well I give you my blessing just you know be prepared this is 'hickey hills' busy season. " Blair said triumphantly heading for the doorway.

She stopped did a one eighty and said. " Oh, Jo call me when you're pregnant. " Teasingly.

" Alright , thats it come here blondie. I'll show you Hickey Hills. " Jo grabbed her roomate and placed a small kiss on her neck. " I promise we're just friends I gave him the ol' Polniaczek pummeling speach. "

'' Ahuh, you just keep telling yourself that dear, Becky Henderson said she maced him and he still kept trying." Blair laughed.

" Isn't Becky Henderson the girl that hasn't had a date since playtime in kindergarten..?" Jo shot back.

" What if she is the point is still relevant my darling. " Blair Chagrinned. " How did you know that anyway ?"

" Three words Tootie told me, No your point ain't still relevant because she's probably had the mace that long. "

" So ?"

Jo gave a frustrated huff to her would be girlfriend. " So, that stuff waters down after awhile ya' can't depend on it. Thats why I always carry my equalizer with me on outings. Except for with you because lets face it I can take you princess. "

" Haha, thats so funny I forgot to laugh. " Blair chided.

" Impossible, ya' can't forget something you neva' learned. " Jo teased.

" Oooh, erh, just shut up and go on your little pseudo date with jock boy already. I'll be here when you need someone to take you to the police station. " Blair steamed stomping off and down the stairs for her kitchen duties.

" I can't concerts not 'til friday. Now where did I put that equalizer anyway.." Jo looked around the small fourbed room until she finally found what she was looking for under her bed. " There you are Mcguyver. " The Bron native said to the instrument like it was a pet. In reality it was a shiny hand sized lead pipe heavy enough for damage convient sized for backpacks.

The Friday of the concert. Jo was going for a run around the football field. In the early morning hours when she heard a bunch of guys talking amongst each other. She stopped and quietly creeped over to the stands to get a better listen. ' God I've been around Tootie too long. ' She thought shaking her head.

" So what about you Jake you gonna get any action tonight ?" One of the other football players asked.

" Are you kidding with Jo Polniaczek I don't think so, She's more of a girl that's your buddy not a girl wants your body. Besides man we're only goin' together cause Brad broke his leg. " Jake stated which Jo was happy about but she was sure it was a downplay for his manhood to admit that he wasn't getting any tonight. Especially in front of all the guys.

" Oh, yeah well I got somethin that'll make a girl unable to say no. " Said the unknown Jock pulling a plastic baggie from his jacket pocket. " Here in case you change your mind tonight."

Under peer pressure Jake took the pills from the guy. Not having any intention of using them that night or any.

However Jo didn't know that and she had herself a plan. Because hell had no fury like a Polniaczek crossed by some jock/ punk wannabe like Jake Rappaport.

Later that evening about eight thirty to be exact Jake and Jo arrived at the concert. With her impeding plans at hand she was almost too nervous to be excited about the show.

While back at the school Blair sat in quiet prayer that Jo would 1. Be Safe and 2. forgive her for her bad judgement if she was wrong about that dog of a tight-end named Jake Rappaport. A few months ago that name would've made Blair Wariner swoon but now it just made her sick at her stomach.

Back at the concert Jake and Jo were actually having a really good time. When the band broke for set change Jake asked his friend if she wanted something to drink. " Sure I'll have whateva you're havin' !" She yelled over the crowd that was silent at the time. So naturally they all stared in her direction. Jake laughed. " Deaf by subwoofer gotta love it, I'll be right back with the drinks." He walked out of the stadium and into the vender section of the large building. When all the voices of his so called buddies rang out in his head. The sudden pressure to perform such tasks as getting a girl into bed built up inside him. He shook his head and ordered two Pepsi Colas. " That'll two bucks pal. " A large hairy man in a cooks apron said from behind the vend cart. Jake reached into his pocket and felt the pills still in the denim chamber. He hadn't flushed them he quickly pulled out two ones and said thank you to the vender. Taking the two ice cold freshly opened fizzy Pepsies he went to walk back to Jo then the urge hit him. He could get away with this she liked him they getting established in their friendship she'd never suspect him and he'd be in good with the guys on the team. All he had to do was slip one of those pills into Jo's pop bottle. She'd be his and never even know it. So without any further hesitation he did just that. Little did he know Jo had played this game before. Coming from the Bronx she'd seen and done alot of things she wasn't proud of that were part of everyday survival in her world. She had pick pocketed him earlier switching the little white pills for tic tacs without Jake being any the wiser of it. She had another trick up her sleeve when he got back with the bottles of pop. He couldn't get into his seat properly without first handing Jo both bottles. Thats when Jo ruffied his Pepsi with him being none the wiser. A few drinks later he felt a little fatigued but he had run drills that day so he wasn't surprised. What he couldn't believe was that this was Jo's second bottle of pepsi and she was just fine. Other than the occasional manly sized belch from gulping too fast. He was baffled beyond belief he took another swig of his pop and decided to beat her at the belching game. However instead of beating Jo he fell on his rear end backwards into the crowd. " Does that young man need any help ? " A grandfather like man who had escorted what looked like his grandaughters there inquired. " Nah he'll be fine he just has a little bloodsugar rush thats all. " Jo replied helping Jake walk out of the stadium and to his car. " Am I getting lucky ?" He asked stupidly in his drugged up state as Jo helped him into the backseat and took his keys. " Oh, yeah you're gettin' real lucky that I don't turn you in to tha' cops ya' creep. Whats worse is now I gotta tell Blair she was right. Ya' couldn't have just been a descent friend nope ya' had ta' go an' be a Jock. " Jo said to herself because Jake had just passed out. She started the car and drove back to the school. Jo staggered through the door of Edna Garrets kitchen. The reason she was staggering of course was that she was carrying about a hundred and fourty pounds of dead weight on her shoulders. Lucky for the brunette Edna Garret was a worrier. The older red head was sitting in one of the many chairs reading a magazine with curlers in her hair and a mud mask on. " What on earth happened to him ? " Edna asked in a pre-hyperventilatory voice. " I'll explain in a minute Misses G. But right now I got get this ass offa my back. " Jo answered kicking one of the kitchen chairs out a ways from the table it was positioned at. Then she let him down with a flop. After Jo explained what had happened Edna called the police and an ambulance. Then Jo gave the pills to the arresting officer. The women staggered up the stairs at about three in the morning after all the excitement. Ready to catch what sleep they all had left Jo knew she still had one more person to contend with Blair. Jo was seated on the sofa at three thirty unable to sleep from all the adrenaline she'd used and the tic tac infused pop. There she waited for one miss Wariner to show her silk pajama covered self. Sure enough down the steps her familiar foot stomp could be heard coming in her direction. " Hey. " " Hey. " Jo replied in stoic like silence after that she glared at Blair with her deep brown eyes. " Okay get it ova' with already so we can move on with life around here. " " Get what over with ? " Jo once again glared at her blond roomate knowingly. " Oh, you mean the I was right you were wrong speach. " Jo knodded her head and flipped off the television. " Well I wasn't you're a big girl and you can take of yourself and I just feel I guess like I should look out for you like you look out for me. I will stop from now on though obviously you've dealt with these things before and I haven't and my feelings for you are all new to me. You have to kind of warn me when I'm overstepping my bounds okay ? " " Wow, I can't believe Blair Wariner said she was wrong about something. " Jo reveled momentarily. " Look Blair just because we're togetha' don't mean I'm gonna stop makin' friends that are guys and girls and maybe even a dog here an' there. It don't mean I'm leavin' you or that I'm tired of you or whateva. You lookin' out for me is a really sweet thing and I wouldn't like you so much if ya' didn't always ruffle my feathers. I mean lets face it princess I'm Dick Sergent to ya' Genie okay. We bicker and squabble but in the end we're made for each other. In a word I forgive you. " Explained the Bronx native. " Good and you know something I think I'm ready for us to go a little further in our relationship. " Jo's head turned and her eyes widened. " Jo will you kiss me ?" " Thank God I think I woulda died if I had to talk anymore. " " Don't ruin Jo just kiss me. " Blair ordered. The camera cuts away as the two girls kiss slowly and sweetly. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 Part 1 of a two part episode.

Kleenex not mandatory unless ur very emotional. Or need an excuse to have that nice refreshing sinus cry.

Some scenes in this are rated PG-14

Episode 3 part 1

Meet the single mom....

Jo was sitting in her usual friday afternoon position. Outside with the garage door up a radio playing working on her motorcycle, an ice cold Dr. Pepper bottle next to her. Blair her newfound chance at love again. Was walking up with an armfull of bags as usual having taken her car into the small town and burned a hole in her credit cards from too much swiping.

" Well, well , well if its not my little grease monkey. " The rich girl greeted with a sweet smile.

Jo looked up and stopped toying with her bikes engine. " Well, if it ain't the richest brat in all a Peekskill." Jo stood up and wiped the grease from her hands with an orange smelling substance. Then holding out her hands asked. " Want some help with those giant sacks filled with more clothes you don't need ? "

" Why yes I would love some, help with the bags I mean. " Blair replied clumsily tripping over her words. The longer she was around Jo the more she seemed to have that trouble.

" I got the point Blair. Anything else you want as long as we're on the subject and all alone. " Jo anounced wiggling her eyebrows.

" All alone but what about Tootie ?"

" Gone to a movie. "

" Natalie ? "

" At the movies with Tootie."

" Misses Garrett ?"

" Their ride to the movies and to tha store for some stuff. "

" Really, so we're all alone with the whole place to ourselves ?" Blair said slowly to herself mostly letting the reality sink in.

" Uh, Blair we don't um..we dont have ta do anything. I'd be just as happy watchin' tv with ya' really. " Jo assured nervously trying to tell her blonde counterpart there was no pressure. Afterall after the last attempt at making love she'd had with Jess she was a little gun shy.

" Right I actaully had a thought hit me just now though so if you'll help me get these bags upstairs and into the bedroom. I will let you finish your bike work and I'll do something to surprise you." Blair said to her dark haired roomate.

" Sure , that sounds cool. " Jo agreed running up and opening the screen door for her blonde girlfriend. " Heiresses first. " She joked.

" You're too kind." Blair shot back in her best snob voice.

The two teens walked up the stairs and Blair began taking everything from the store bags and transferring the items to her dresser and there were a couple of things which went into the shared closet. Then Blair came to the last two bags which were from a store she had not been to until today. These were for Jo.

Blair sat about getting candles out and lighting them then she slipped into her around the house clothes a pair of designer jeans with holes in the knees and a blue tee with a carebare on it which was worn too and fit her in all the right places.

" Jo you can come up now. " The rich girl called out.

Jo was on the couch relaxing having finished with her bikes tune up. She was reading an old issue of popular mechanics. When she heard the sweet voice of the girl she'd come to have strong feelings for. Calling her to come upstairs for her surprise.

" Finally I think I aged thirty years down here. " Jo remarked ascending the stairs in a rush. She made record time getting up the two flights and through the door of the shared bedroom.

Jo arrived to a room lit by candlelight only, and her princess setting on her bed with two blue sacks labeled Johns Sports. Jo was suddenly nervous a lengthy make out session she was prepared for not gifts so expensive she could not reciprocate the gesture.

" Well are you going to come inside and shut the door or are you going to stare off into space a little longer ?" Blair remarked cutely.

" Yeah, Uh whats in the bags ? " Jo asked hoping it was nothing for her and something Blair had bought wanting to impress her in some way.

" I'm glad you asked me the suspense was killing me as to wether or not you'd like it. " Blair said the impatience in her voice for Jo to open the bag in front of her.

" Blair you really shouldn't have I know you meant well but I don't want you for your money and I don't want to start spending those credit munchers on me. " Jo explained in a soft tone trying to break it to her princess as gently as possible.

" Before you go making speaches about money and my spending it all on you, Just open the bag give me the benefit of the doubt for once huh, " Blair urged.

Not without hesitation Jo opened the bag and to her surprise pulled out two things. A new basketball and a new Bulls cap. Jo smiled sweetley at her girl. " Thank you Blair, so whats in the other bag then if they're not both for me ? " She asked curiously.

" Well I was hoping you'd ask that too, this is more a surprise for you and insurance for me. " Blair answered pulling out a pink bikers helmet with little flowers on the sides. She put it on and showed Jo. " Now I won't die when I ride on your death instrument and you wont either with yours on because I have one now. So how do I look ? " The blonde heiress asked sincerely.

" Beautiful, you always look beautiful. " Jo answered in a peaceful tone.

" Really ? Even in this bulky thing, Blair countered. I guess Wariners look good in anything. " She added with humor.

" Well, you always look beautiful to me no matter what you have on except for in the mornin' when ya' got that plaque on ya' teeth and that Tina Turna' bed head goin' on. " Jo cajolied.

" Oh, jee thanks alot. " Blair shot back pulling the helmet off her head and tossing a decorative pillow at her girlfriend.

" Hey! You're gonna pay for that Warner. " Jo threatened lunging at the older girl and tickling her. " Huh, I guess ya' can add excessively ticklish to the list of things Warners are. "

" Hey, stop , Jo. " Blair giggled and squirmed. Then the teens eyes met one anothers and the air around them got thick, intense. Jo leaned forward slowly swallowing heavily. Blair looked as though she were mimicking this behavior. After what seemed like an eternity of torture their lips met in a heated kiss. That felt as though it could last forever. Jo sucked Blair's lower lip into her hot mouth and Blair's eye shot closed. She groaned gutterally. Then it was her turn to suck on Jo's thin upper lip. The two girls played back and forth like that for a good fifteen minutes before they wanted to feel more.

They tilted their heads in opposite directions and kissed with open mouths. Jo was a good kisser Blair thought remembering the boys she'd kissed before. Only two of them but they were both pretty much the same in technique anyway. They were all about the tongue and then trying to get to the next base. They would slobber all over her face too. Jo was soft and slow and most of all her kisses were lingering and gentle. The blonde loved that she didn't have to worry about when to make Jo stop because she wasn't ready to go that far, Because Jo wasn't ready to go all the way either.

However Blair was no prude. She wasn't opposed to heating things up a bit. The two had been for two months going out in secret and making out in secret. It never amounted to anything more than heated kissing but now they were home and on a bed. Blair could feel her body repsonding to Jo's lips which were now nipping at the gentle flesh on her neck.

Blair was ready to go a little further though not all the way just yet. She threw her left leg over Jo's back and rolled them both over so that Blair was on top. She unbuttoned the first three buttons on Jo's denim shirt and kissed her neckline at the same time she was pressing her center into Jo's and it was driving Jo insane.

The bronx native was on fire never had she felt such sensations. They were coming everywhere and nowhere all at once. Blair nibbled on Jo's earlobes next with first gentle bite she made the mechanic take in a sharp breath and grab the back of Blairs head pressing her on. She put the other hand on the blondes lower back and ran it up and down to her jeans pockets. Blair returned to Jo's lips this time their tongues met in a neverending battle each memorizing the ins and outs of the others mouth. In a sweet., langorous rhythm.

Amazingly enough when things were getting way too hot for tv. Jo was the breaks and Blair was the one who wanted to keep going.

" Blair I n-need to stop now please. " Jo pleaded.

Since Blair wasn't going to push her girl into anything she did not feel ready for either. The heiress reluctantly stopped her ministrations on the dark haired tomboy. The two lay next to each other for a long time in silence. Jo carelessly ran her hand through Blairs long blonde locks. They were so relaxed together they eventually fell into sleep on Blairs bed.

When Jo awoke it was to a crowd of familiar faces, some too familiar in fact.

Edna Garrett was shocked but not dissaproving looking, just like she hadn't expected this to happen in her all girls school. In a small town in up state New York.

The other face filled dissaproval and sickening was her mother Rose Polniaczek. Whom upon seeing the girls together like this was appalled. She quickly grabbed her dark haired daughter by the ear and raised her up off the bed. Which cause enough of a raucous to wake Blair.

" What do you think you're doing young lady !" This was a demand not a question.

" I'm takin' a nap next to my best friend, whats it to ya' !" Jo sounded back she loved her mother dearly but it was time for her to either accept her for who she was. Or find a replacement for her somewhere. Because she was not going back to being put down for who she was attracted to.

Edna was getting over her initial shock and aww. Now Jo of course wasn't as much of a shock as it was to find whom was with her. Blair of all people one of the most feminine , straightest people she'd ever seen in her years at Eastland. But this was the eighties.

Rose was livid she was yelling and reciting scripture, anything she could think to get Jo in line with the regular girls.

Thats when Edna had heard just about enough of Jo's biggoted remarks. One thing the short red headed caretaker couldn't stand. Seeing her girls be put down or mistreated in any way by anyone. Especially on her turf at the school.

Rose was preparing to pull her dark haired daughter by the arm and out of the school forever. " I thought sending you to this expensive school would teach to behave like a young woman. Not a..whatever you are now !" Rose yelled.

When Edna Garrett stepped between the angry woman and her saddened daughter. " Now wait just a minute lady. Get your hands off one of my girls right this instant and give yourself five minutes to calm down. "

" You listen here I don't know who you are but..."

" No, You listen here I know you're Jo's mother but I'm Edna Garrett their den mother and caretaker while these girls study here. You have no reason to do this. Look at the sadness you are causing your daughter. Now you just take a chill pill or I'll pry your mouth open and shove it in there myself ! If you come with me downstairs into the kitchen I'll make us some coffee and we can talk about this...situation like civilized people shall we." The older woman exploded trying to reason with Jo's mother.

Rosalie looked at her daughter for the first time with clearer eyes. Whatever was going on with her she was still her beautiful only child. She wanted to make this workout for them both. " Alright," she nodded in agreance. " I like mine with cream. "

" Good then, " Edna breathed letting her blood pressure go down to normal. " Come with me, girls you just stay here while we talk. "

" Yes, ma'am." They both said.

The two adults went down the stairway into the kitchen leaving the adolescents to themselves.

Jo slumped down in a heap on her bed. Blair wasn't sure but she thought she saw tears streaming down her girls face. That made Blair want to do something so that she'd be safe from ever having to leave her side. Now the protective instincts in the rich girl were showing up.

The blonde slowly made her way over to Jo's bedside and sat down next to her. Placing a comforting arm around her girlfriends shoulder. " So I guess I don't have to wait til winter break to meet your mom. " She soundly joked.

Earning a small snort from the tough tomboy she'd come to fall for. " Guess not. "

" It's all gonna be okay honey, I don't care if I have to get daddy on the phone and have him get his best lawyers on this. You know mommy and daddy are members of the LGBT Task force to support gay rights movements. They won't stand for this. " Blair stated once again mounting her pedistal of power.

" You think so ? I won't go back to the city with mom I'll run if I have to. I don't wanna leave you Blair you're the best thing thats happened to me since the incident back home. " Jo sad depressively letting her head fall into her hands. She didn't want her love to see her cry even if the tears weren't prevalent yet.

" Don't be sad Jo misses Garrett won't let that happen she'll straighten your mom out. " Blair said not thinking about her words and eating a fistfull of tact.

Jo looked up from her hands to roll her eyes at the blonde for just that reason. Then they caught each other at a weak moment and succombed. Their lips met gently this time not like their excited make out session before. But slow and sweet.

At that time Tootie and Natalie had headed upstairs. Exhausted from their movie and dinner in town. Then they'd stayed up late to watch Johnny Carson. Edna finally issued the order for bedtime. Stull talking with Jo's mother. The two gossip girls didn't exactly know what it was about. But it seemed to be a very serious dobate going on.

" I hope whatever Jo's mom and Misses Garrett are discussing doesn't mean Jo will have to leave. I was just getting used to having a handy man around. " Natalie joked.

Tootie laughed. " Me too Jo is teaching me softball so I can try out for the team this spring. If she left I'd be curve balled. " She added.

The girls opened the bedroom door to see Blair and Jo kissing slowly , romantically the candles from before burnt down to the nubs some of them and some still quite whole with lines of smooth melted wax dripping down their sides in an artistic fashion. Their bits of light playing against the kissing couple.

" I'll get the sleeping bags we'll have camp out in the living room. " Tootie suggested.

Natalie was still wide eyed where she was from in the south. The only girls she'd ever seen kissing were the ones at sleepovers who did it for practice when they were kissing their boyfriends. This did not look at all like that. Blair and Jo were _like_ they were boyfriend and girlfriend.

" Nat. Nat, NATALIE ! " Tootie managed in a loud whisper. " Stop staring by then though Jo and Blair had heard the loud noise since Tootie was a terribly loud whisperer.

" ARE you guys gay ? ?" Natalie gaped and ghasped.

TO BE CONTINUED.......


	7. Chapter 7

The Facts of Life (The Remix)

Part 2 Episode 4.

Jo and Blair seperated quickly with the same expressions on each of their faces. They'd been caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

" No Jo and I are absolutely not gay !" Blair protested looking affended at the mere thought.

" We're lesbians. " She stated firmly smiling.

" Wow, lesbians in our little school too. Who would've thought. I can write an article about you girls for the school paper. I'll call it ' Out of the seventies Out Of The Closet !' What do you think ?" Natalie asked overzealously.

Jo and Blair both exchanged horrified looks. " Um,,no I think I like being in the closet for now atleast until I can tell daddy. "

" Yeah, me too just until my mom gets the exercism she deserves from misses G. " Jo agreed.

" Is that what this is about, the whole debate down in the kitchen it's because your mom found out about you and Blair isn't it ?" Tootie enquired.

" You could say that. We weren't even doing anything we were just sleeping. My mom came down to surprise me I guess and found us on Blairs bed snoozin' then had kittens about it. " Jo clarified messing with her pony tail.

" That's terrible. So many people are so narrow minded. So does this mean you guys have to sleep in different rooms now ?" Natalie asked.

" We don't know the jury hasn't come back on that yet. Can I ask a favor if it's not too much could you guys camp out in the living room tonight, Jo and I need some time to talk. " Blair explained.

" Sure no problem thats actually what we were getting ready to do. " Tootie replied hurriedly grabbing her and Nat's sleeping bags and two pillows. Her short body was completely covered in well covers. " Uh, Nat, could you take something please ?"

Natalie was in a daze still staring at her two friends. " Oh, sure give me the pillows. Good night Jo, Blair. I hope you get to stay. "

" Thanks Nat I hope so too. " Jo said remorsefully as the two younger students made their way down the stairs and to the living room.

Jo and Blair both sighed heavily neither one know what to say to the other. Blair guided Jo's head down towards the pillows. The two covered up.

" I don't know what to say Blair, I..I've never felt about someone like I feel about you and now knowing we could be seperated forever. " The tomboys tough front was crumbling before her as she sniffled and tears came down her cheeks. Blair was there to wipe them away and hold her girl while let it all out.

" It's okay sweety, tell you what we don't have to say anything. Let's just pretend we're all alone again and we're really tired and go to sleep. Okay ?" Blair suggested soothingly running her hand over Jo's back and playing with her ponytail.

Jo could not find words for her tears so she just managed a nod. Then the two girls closed their eyes and drifted off.

Jo awoke thirty minutes later to the sound of Blair snoring. She had to stifle her laugh but it was just too funny. The high maintance heiress who prided herself on her lady like femininity snored like a naval officer on shore leave. It was too much.

Then the pain hit her. Blair had gone to sleep on her arm and her arm was now asleep too. Jo moved as gently and swiftly as she could. She walked out into the hallway leaving her snoring beauty to sleep. Jo headed for the landing at the top part of the stairs and over heard misses Garrett. Who seemed to be yelling at Jo's mother.

The bronx tomboy shook her head. All this fightin' ova' me, I ain't worth it. Jo thought to herself letting a heavy breath escape her lungs. Thats when Jo devised a plan. She was going to runaway from this life , her mom, the school and even her beloved Blair. That way no one would be hurt over her. Blair would heal she would find someone new and maybe even someone that liked shopping for hours on end.

Silently as possible Jo put her few belongings in her backpack and crept down the stairs and out the front door. She decided to walk her motorcycle down the block a little ways so as not to attract anyones attention. She got to the first stop sign and started the motor, the purr of the engine calmed her frazzled nerves.

She didn't know where she was headed but she would be fine.

Meanwhile back at the school.

Edna was giving Rosalie a peice of her mind still when the waitress finally buckled. She broke down in tears.

Mrs. Garretts voice softened and she frowned. " What is it dear ?"

" I just don't want my little girl to be made to feel different and if she stays with that, that girl. She will be judged , and called names and ostricised for it. Don't you understand I'm not trying to hurt her. I just want for her the life I didn't have growin' up. Do you understand misses Garrett ? The last thing I care about is who she is with it's just people aren't kind to anyone who is not normal by comparison to everyone else." Rosalie finally broke down spilling her guts to Edna. Who was there to put a comforting hand on her shoulder and cry with her.

" I understand all of that Rosalie, however I happen to know Blairs family for many, many years, they are the most self absorbed, money loving people I've ever met. " Edna commented.

Rosalie began crying more. " But they are also the nicest people toward other people I have ever met. Blair is a...well she's a spoiled child I give you that. Since she has been around Jo..you can't even imagine the change in her. She's nicer to kids who don't have as much as she does. She doesn't mind doing dish detail. She even gave some of her brand new clothes she had never worn to a charity. I think they are most good for each other. " The older woman soothed.

" What about Jo..? Is she any different because of this Blair girl ?" Rosalie asked with piqued curiousness.

" Most definately, she has more self confidence the real kind, not that macho , ego-mania she had when she first got here. Her GPA is up , she studies every evening. I have even heard her mention college plans here and there." Edna grinned seeing Rose perk up.

" Really, " Rose gasped.

" So I am asking you with every fiber of my being, miss Polniaczek will you reconsider, let your daughter stay. "

Rose looked as though she were weighing her decisions carefully. Then she looked up at the older woman sitting in front of her at the little kitchen table. " Yes, Jo can stay. But I don't want any extracuricular activities going on between those two. Which means Jo or Blair one will have to get a different room. "

" Yes I suppose you're right on that point. Since they are dating it would be making things way too easy for..well I see what you mean. Very well Jo can have the garage. It has air , heat, and electricity. She's just the handyman to fix it up. " Edna joked.

" Yeah, she is good with that stuff. " Rose laughed through a sniffle.

Do you suppose maybe we should go upstairs and give'em the good news ?" Edna enquired.

Rose nodded just as they were getting up from the table. Blair came thundering down the stairs. Looking frazzled and worried.

" Whats the matter dear ?" Edna asked.

" Jo and I fell asleep, I woke up and she's gone and I found this taped to her pillow when I rolled over. "

Edna took the note and read it aloud.

_To Misses Garrett, my mother and to my sweetest Blair, I know that who I am is wrong but I _

_cannot help it. It's in my dna and theres no changing that unless you;re Bruce Banner. So I am _

_leaving that way Mom will be spared any heartache, Misses Garrett won't have to defend me _

_anymore and Blair I know this hurts now, but you will get over me I'm not that hard to forget anyway. _

_Don't bother looking for me. I don't even know where I am going.. _

_I am sorry for all the pain I have and will cause all of you._

_Sincerely Jo_

" Oh, dear !" Misses Garrett ghasped turning pale from immediate worry.

To Be Continued. . . .


	8. Chapter 8

The Facts Of Life (The Remix)

It was six in the morning in Peekskille when Jo awoke. The girl was covered in a sleeping bag she hadn't used since she and some friends from her old school. Back in the Bronx had decided to go camping on the rooftop of her apartment building.

Jo was not sure why she had brought the old red sleeping bag when she started at Eastland. Now she knew though. It was so she could abandon her friends, misses Garrett, her mother and most of all Balir her first true love. Jo knew if she gave into her hearts desire again that there would be consequences. Everytime she tried to live her life she couldn't seem to brush past problems like these.

After riding her bike in the rain for two hours going absolutely nowhere and not even leaving town. Jo went to the secluded spot in the campgrounds that she always went when she wanted to reflect or cool off from a big fight with Blair. She sat up on an old fallen moss covered tree. She realised she'd have to go back at some point and face the music but not right now. Let my mother sweat it out a little bit. After the way she treated me yesterday she deserves it. Jo thought bitterly.

Blair Warner was sitting at a table in the cafeteria nursing an hour old cup of coffee. She didn't dare say cup of joe because she would then think of her Jo. The neolithic grease monkey had charmed her way into Blairs heart. Just a few months ago. The blonde heiress had large circles under her eyes and she had not even bothered to apply any makeup to her worn out looking features.

She had been up all night long first with Jo while misses Garrett chewed out some sense into her. Then when Jo ran off while she was resting. The tear stained note Blair now held up the only part of her Jo had left behind.

Rosalie had walked into the kitchen after talking with the school search party. She noticed an exhausted broken down Blair Warner. Holding the note her daughter had left for the girl. Rosa sighed and after pouring herself a cup of coffee. She took the seat directly across from her daughters girlfriend. " Hey." She greeted in a tired voice herself.

Blair looked up from her note tears yet again running down her cheeks. " Hey."

" You know this isn't your fault Blair, it's mine. I just couldn't bare the thought of my daughter having a life that was any less valued by society. So I did what I thought I was supposed to. " Rosalie tried to explain.

Blair was already upset, tired and missing her best friend and so much more. This was the straw that broke the camels back for her. " Oh, that's motherly you thought you were supposed to yell and call your daughter who loved you so much she went along with your little scheme to come to this school. Do you know the first night we met I kissed her, I was sitting in the jail cell with her and I was so scared she was there for me. But when I kissed her she broke into tears and it was because of you. My parents may be dissenchanted socialites but atleast they wouldn't treat me like that ! You don't deserve to have someone as special as my..Girlfriend as a daughter. You make me SICK! " The debutante raged standing up now and leaning on the table for support she was so exhausted she could barely stand up.

" Blair, knock it off thats my ma' ya' talkin' to. " Said a thick ,teary voice.

The blonde haired princess turned on her tired feet and ran wrapping up Jo in a tight hug. " JO are you okay, I was so worried. " Blair rambled concerned not even thinking what she was doing she was kissing Jo's cheeks her forehead even her neck in joy. Then the surprise and relief wore off. She stood away from Jo and hit her in the arm.

" Ow, that the best ya' got princess. " Jo retorted rubbing her arm anyway. She looked at Blair leaned in and kissed her sweetly, no tongue just a sweet kiss like their first one had been. Besides she didn't want to freak her mother out too much. When they parted slowly Jo was grinning. She took Blairs hand in hers and turned to face her mother. " See mom I know you love me and you want what makes me happy right. Well Blair is what makes me happy and I know once you get to know her. You'll see how special she is to me. " Jo tilted her head thinking for a moment. " Well, I mean once you get past the rich, spoiled, conceited,..."

" Enough Joanna. " Blair ordered removing her hand from Jo's and folding her arms together.

" Sorry. Don't call me that." Jo came back. She looked every bit as tired as Blair did and she thought she was getting a cold from being out in the rain for so long. Her nose was stuffed up and she could hear it when she talked.

Rosalie sat at the table quietly taking everything she had just witnessed into consideration.

" So this is who you want, this is the type of relationship you're will to walk through fire to have. I gaurantee my dear there will be more problems in your life because of loving this girl. Are you sure you're ready to live that ? "

" Yea, ma I am I would do whatever it takes to be with Blair. " Jo said sincerely. " I don't know if it's wrong or right or if I'm goin' ta' hell when I die. All I know is that my life was already as close to hell as the living can get until I let her into my life. Blair makes me a better person. " Jo replied. " I can't believe I just said that you make me a betta' person. " The mechanic shook her head in bewilderment.

" Oh, Jo you're a regular Romeo. " Blair gleamed with sarcasm.

" Blair you feel the same I'm sure ?" Rosalie asked contemplating.

" Oh, yes one hundred percent. Warners love with everything you know. " Blair remarked tossing her hair. Jo grinned.

Rosalie took a long , slow sip of her coffee. " I guess I have no choice then," She said looking from her daughter to Blair and back again. " Jo will have to come back to the Bronx..." Jo and Blair both ghasped. " Wait let me finish, on spring break so the family can meet you Blair. I can't see any other way around this. I just want your happiness dear and if she makes you happy then who am I to stop you. I am sorry about before and my outburst but..." Rosalie could get no farther in her apology. Because Blair and Jo were both hugging her and each and her again.

Then a frazzled misses Garrett walked in from the kitchen. " Jo !" The redheaded older woman exclaimed. Running over and hugging the girl and then Blair was in on the hug too. " You missy if you ever do anything like that again, I will hunt you down, do understand me. " Misses Garrett warned with a pointed index finger at Jo.

" Yes, misses G." Jo nodded rolling her eyes putting her arm around Blair's shoulder.

" I'm holding you to that, Edna replied with an eye roll of her own. Now Jo a few arrangements have been made since you and Blair are a..together in a special way. " The redheaded dietician tried to phrase her words in a non-judgemental way.

Jo looked puzzled. " What arrangements misses Garrett ? I don't understand.."

Edna was thinking how to word her next sentence so as not to offend Jo. " Well, your mother and I ..While we were talking last night. We came to the decision that since you two are dating now, which I have to admit is a first for me here at Eastland. Well you two need a seperate room.."

Jo's eyes went wide, as did Blair's. " But miss G we're not .. that is Blair and we haven't.." Jo couldn't figure out how to say the words without dying of embarressment on the spot.

" Misses Garrett, I believe what Jo here is trying to sound out is that. She and I have not even had sex yet why would we need a seperate room from Nat and tootie ?" Blair finished for her girlfriend.

" Yeah, I mean we expected you to be open minded but this is a little too much miss G. " Jo added.

Edna's eyes were wide now. " No..no that's not what I meant I mean one of you has to sleep in the garage. Well after some discussion we decided it should be you Jo. Since you're so handy you'll have the place fixed up in no time. " The older woman explained further.

" Oh, whew. " Jo and Blair both breathed a sigh of relief. They wanted to be together but they wanted to wait for the right time to be together, _together._

" And when one of you is visiting the other's room the door must be open at all times. No changing together anymore. Which shouldn't be a problem anyway since Jo's garage has a bathroom of it's own. Now it's not without needing some work done to it Jo dear. So I will go to town today and get you some paint, plaster things like that. Until it's up to code you can sleep on the sofa. Any questions. " Edna asked finally finishing her statement of the new house rules.

" Nope you've made it all pretty clear. " Jo replied. " Come on Blair lets go up to the room and leave the door open so I can pack. " the mechanic said with an edge to her voice. Her nerves were frazzled enough now she had to get used to sleeping without being able to see her love.

There was much to be done could Jo and Blair handle all the new changes . Especially since now there were rules and regulations. Stay tuned and find out.


	9. Chapter 9

I appreciate all the people who have tuned in to read my little fantasy story. I also appreciate the ones who left reviews. I don't mind them at all so just click the button and write some words about this story I love suggestions too. We will be going into seasons two and three after this episode.

**The Facts Of Life ( The Remix) Episode 6. Feel Like somebodies wacthin' Us !**

**Every muscle in Jo Polniazcek's body ached. She had spent the whole week plus the weekend. Fixing up the old garage so she would have living quarters. She swore if she ever saw another tin of paint or mixable plaster it would be entirely too soon. However that being said she'd do it all over again to be with Blair. Just not so quickly she actually missed the crowded room of girls. They seemed a little lost without the cocky Bronx native themselves.**

**Blair wasn't taking to well to the adjustment herself either. She missed hearing Jo snore and having to practically commit assault and battery to get her to roll over on her right side. She also missed that evil grin she'd get when they'd sneak a kiss while no one was looking and total chaos had broken out over nothing. **

**Misses Garrett on the other hand was on full alert. That meant no sweet talking within her dog like hearing range, no kissing and no cuddling unless she was gone and no one noticed or bothered to take notice. **

**Tootie and Natalie thought it was cute and whenever the two school spies saw Jo and Blair kissing or holding hands or Jo carrying Blair's shopping bags for her. They would grin and go "Awww. " Just to annoy Jo. **

**Now Jo was laying in her garage with the radio cranked up and reading the latest copy of motorcycle digest. **

**Blair was in the house cooking..or atleast her version of cooking. She was attempting to make grilled cheese and tomato sandwiches.**

**Jo heard a small beeping in the distance when she looked the garage window. She saw smoke coming from the cafeteria area of the house which was situated right near the garage. Jo's eyes went wide she made a mad dash into the cafeteria grabbed a fire extinguisher. Into the kitchen she came seeing the source of the fire Blair Warner and cooking never did mix. She promptly hosed down the burning skillet with C02 threw down the fire extinguisher and hugged Blair tightly. **

**" Look princess it's ok with me that ya' bat your eyelashes at every Tom, Dick and Harry around here, It's okay with me that you try to take me shopping and pick out my wardrobe. But do not , unda' any circumstances cook without supervision. " Jo warned eyeing the smoke filled kitchen and Blair who was now choking. Misses Garrett was gone to the store. It was several hours before lunch service would begin. Jo opened the kitchen windows and emergency exit door. Then she hauled her princess out to the garage. **

**Blair sat in the garage in a desk chair. Jo sat on her bed which was a roll away cot. Jo handed her the glass bottle of coke she had been sipping from. Blair took it graciously and had a long drink of the carbonated liquid.**

**" Ya' okay Blair ?" Jo asked with concern lining her tone. **

**" Yeah, I think so just got a little too much smoke in me. Thank you for saving me. " **

**" If you don't my askin' what in hell were ya' doing near the kitchen let alone in it by yourself ?" Jo enquired.**

**Blair smiled a million dollar smile. " I was cooking for you, or atleast I was trying to cook for you. " **

**Jo beamed proudly her well-to-do girlfriend was truly coming into her own. She was even attempting to cook. " Well next time start out small like lunch meat and then work ya' way up to using to stove. " **

**" Thanks for the warning, but I'm a Warner we don't start out small, we always do everything big !" Blair shined fluffing her hair. Which was futile considering she happened to stink of smoke. Also having singe marks from the high flames on her cheeks. Jo burst out laughing she had to lay back on her bed she was laughing so hard.**

**" What may I ask is so funny ?" Blair asked placing her hands on her hips and standing abruptly.**

**" Nothin' it's just..well I hate ta' break it to ya' princess. But this is one area of expertise I'd leave to tha' pros. " Jo said in between breaths of laughter. " Warners might be alotta things but cooks ain't one. "**

**" Well, I never. " Blair stated harshly. When Jo wasn't looking she could hardly maintain her seriousness. It was true Warners weren't cooks they were the emploryers of cooks. She hopped on top of her dark haired counterpart and started tickling her. Jo was laughing so hard she had tears streaming down her face. " I'll teach you a thing or two about Warners when theres something we want to excell in we excell in it. Then we buy out the other guys and set up shop !" Blair stated while still tickling Jo's firm stomach. **

**" Alright thats it blondie !" Jo retorted finding enough strength to ignore the nimble fingers that teased her stomach so. Rolling the heiress over on her back so that Jo was now on top of her. She began tickling the heck out of her girlfriend. " You might think you've won but wait'll ya' first cookin' class, I'll be shocked if they can teach ya' not to burn toast. " **

**" I'll show you , you upright walking neaderthal !" Blair shot back. As much as it seemed like two teenage girls just playing around on the outside. The both of them needed this teasing and time together. But they has stopped tickling each other unmercifully. Now they were staring at one another heat in their eyes. Skin on fire. Hearts racing Jo leant down and kissed Blair haughtily. After a few seconds of heated liplocking their kiss simmered down. Keeping the heat but slowing to a gentle rediscovery.**

**Jo didn't look soft but she was deep down she was very sensitive. Blair mused as the darker haired gilr ran a string of kisses down the blondes neck.**

**However their joyful union was soon dissrupted. By an abrupt swing of the wooden door to Jo's 'apartment' followed by a small parade of the teen girls peers. All of them observantly staring at the couple who'd been caught in a rather compromising situation. The students watched on with pencils and notebooks at the ready. A few seconds later Tootie and Natalie were an addition to the on lookers. **

**The annoyed couple quickly parted sitting upright on Jo's cot. Tootie and Natalie took the frontlines as though they were the leaders of the would be tourist group. **

**Before two leaders could speak, Jo stood up and put a firm hand on each girl's shoulder. Smiling catiously Natalie and Tootie looked guilty as the cats that split the canary. **

**" Well, well, well if it's not my two ex-friends. Nat and Tootie. " Jo stated in a tone full of tension. " May I ask why the hell it looks like the rebellion just stormed my dorm ! ?" **

**" Uh, well their observing you an-and Blair and your relationship. " Tootie replied sounding a bit frightened.**

**" Why, is it that they even know about mine and Blair's 'relationship' ? " Jo reiterated her question.**

**" Well, you see it's very funny, actually.." Natalie trailed trying to laugh. It wasn't working she gave in. " It's gay and lesbian awareness week in our human studies class last friday. Well we didn't know anyone else to observe and we have an eight page paper due next tuesday. We have to study the behaviors between straight people and gay people and write whether we think they are the same or different in any way. " **

**Jo looked like she was about to pound something in. Blair panicked standing up quickly reaching out to Jo. " Now Jo honey it can't be all that bad. I mean think of it as flattering they all came to study us and not...Oh, screw it I'm gonna kill the little one you take on reporter girl !" The heiress exclaimed grabbing Tootie by the shirt collar. The small girls eyes went wide with fear. **

**" Easy Blair when rumors stopped gettin' spread through the school they'd begin to miss Tootie. But her on the otha' hand. " It was Jo's turn to grab Nat's shirt collar. **

**" Hold it !" A voice boomed. A wise adult voice all the girls knew too well. Edna walked over to Jo and pryed her hands off Natalie's shirt collar. " Now before there any pummeling of any kind, I want an explanation. Perhaps we can work this out somehow. Now what may I ask is so drastic an issue you felt the need to threaten Natalie and Tootie in this manner ?" **

**" Those two timin' little rats sold me and Blair down tha' riva' and didn't even charge an admission fee. " Jo explained in her own slang. **

**Edna looked puzzled. Then she looked at Blair. **

**" What my dear Jo is trying to communicate to you misses Garrett. Is that Natalie and Tootie have a human studies report due next week and the topic is gay/lesbian versus straight relationships. How they differ and how they are similar. Natalie and Tootie decided since we were the only 'gay' couple on campus they were aware of. To tell their entire class and follow Jo and I around from dawn 'til dusk. Studying our every move. Now Jo and I feel the only ladylike, polite gesture would be to bust some skulls. " Blair explaned in a calm tone before reaching over Edna's shoulder and grabbing at Tootie again. **

**" Whoa, Hold on. Everyone who doesn't live in this dormatory or in this garage clear out !" Edna ordered. She watched an entire class of girls file out of the small garage. Some complaining, some laughing. **

**The older woman took a deep breath and gathered herself. " So basically they 'outted' you and Jo and now you want revenge. " **

**Jo grinned placing an arm around the redheaded dietician. " See, thats why I like you miss G you're always to the point. " **

**" Well, " Edna eyeballed the two younger girls. " What do you two have to say for yourselves ? I'd be inclined to let these two do whatever they wanted to you girls. If I wanted to clean up the bloodspatter and teeth that would follow the order to kill. " Edna stated her voice dripping in fact and sarcasm. **

**Natalie and Tootie both hung their heads in shame. " We're sorry. " The two girls said in unison heading out of the garage. **

**" Wait, " Misses Garrett chimed. " I have a punishment for you both. You're not allowed to speak to Blair or Jo in school, at the cafeteria or at home. Then you will get a taste of what it's like not to have their friendship. See how if feels girls. Because I honestly don't know any other way to teach you two the depth and ripple effect of your little side show. " **

**To be continued.**


	10. Chapter 10

The Fact Of Life (The Remix)

Episode 7...The trouble with intolerance..

It was a lazy sunday afternoon at Eastland. Jo was in the driveway working on her bike. Blair was out shopping. Natalie and Tootie still couldn't bring themselves to say anything to Jo even though their punishment was over.

Misses Garrett was in the kitchen planning the next weeks lunch menu. When the phone rang misses Garrett absent mindedly answered. " Hello, Eastland cafeteria. This is Edna Garrett speaking. " Her face went from one of distraction to one of worry. " Really, Oh my yes I'll be there in just a few minutes. Thank you for the call. " Edna undid her apron and tossed her pen onto the notepad. " Natalie, Tootie, Jo and I will be going out mind the house while we're gone. "

" Yes, misses Garrett !" The girls hollered back.

Edna walked to the driveway purse keys and coat in hand. " Jo, come on dear we've got to go. "

" Go where miss G I'm just puttin' the finishing touches on the tune up. Can it wait ?" Jo asked not know what was going on.

" No , I'm afraid it can't something happened to Blair in town she's at the hospital Jo, the police are calling it a hate crime. " At those last words from Edna, Jo dropped her socket wrench and threw her grease towel to the ground.

" Is she okay ?" Jo asked with deep concern and fear in her eyes.

" I don't know they wouldn't tell me anything else until I get there. Let's go. " Edna repeated and both women hurried to her Chrysler.

At the hospital.

Edna and Jo rushed through the automatic doors and to the circulation desk.

" Can I help you ?" A perky secretary asked.

" Yes, my name is Edna Garrett I'm here to see Blair Warner . " The older woman answered.

" She's been admitted she's in room thirty two on the third floor. " The secretary explained losing her perk tone and gaining a more serious one.

" Thank you. " Edna replied.

" Oh, wait is it true ?" The secretary asked in hushed tone.

" Is what true ?" Edna responded.

" Is she ..really ..gay imagine the gossip a Warner no less outted. " The secretary muttered conspiritorally.

It was Jo's turn to face the desk. " Yeah, it is and guess what ?"

" Ohh, theres more what ?"

Jo motioned her hand for the girl to come a little closer. " I'm her girlfriend and if I hear so much as a peep outta ya mouth about this, I'm gonna shove a chicken in there !" The bronx native threatened.

" That goes double for me too, someone in your profession ought to know better. " Edna retorted.

" Come on Miss G to tha elevata's we go. " Jo calmed placing a hand on the older woman's shoulder.

When Jo and Edna arrived on the third floor and got to room thirty two. They were flabbergasted at the site that was before them. Blair black and blue almost from head to toe. Her eyes were swelled up. Her upper lip was also swollen though not as badly. Her arm was in a cast and she had oxygen hooked up to her.

" Oh, my.." Edna ghasped in a low whispered tone. Holding onto Jo's arm.

" What I wouldn't give to see her in curlers and a mud mask right now. " Jo whispered back to her dorm mother. Jo carefully aproached the hospital bed where her love lay sleeping. She found the hand that wasn't gauzed or bandaged and grasped it between her two good hands. Giving her fingertips a small endearing kiss.

A doctor walked into the room an older man in a lab coat and scrubbs. " Hello, my name is doctor Brent. I'm the on call physician and I'll be serving as Blair's doctor until she leaves here."

" What are the 'damages' so to speak doctor ?" Edna asked.

" Well, Bliar had sustained alot of physical trauma to her ribs there were three broken when she was brought in. She received a broken arm as well as a mild concussion and various laserations and bruising. It's nothing that will kill her however her mental trauma is going to be slightly higher when she wakes up. She will mostl likely be frightened and unaware of her surroundings. Might I suggest that someone be here round the clock who she is familiar with. "

" Yes, doctor that won't be a problem. Jo the girl who is with me and I will be happy to go round the clock. Until her mother arrives. " Edna nodded.

" Alright well if you need any questions answered I'll be around until my shift ends at midnight. " The doctor replied excusing himself from the room. He turned back around momentarily. " Blair should be waking here in the next day or so. If not we'll have to do another C.A.T. scan to see if there is any swelling of the brain. You ladies have a good day now. "

Once he was out of the room. Edna gained a sarcastic look to her features. " Oh, yes we'll just be sailing on rainbows. " Jo snorted though Edna could see the unshed tears welling up in the tough girls eyes. The older redhead placed her hands on Jo's shoulders for motherly comfort.

" It's all my fault misses G if I hadn't ever met'er she wouldn't be lyin here in this alchohol swabbed hospital. Why do people hate us for being different ?" Jo asked with a childlike curiosity.

Edna frowned. " Well you've answered your question right there. Because you're different people don't handle different well. Mostly because it makes them think there is something wrong with them and they carry that insecurity around with them until one day. When it's all built up inside of them and they see something outwardly different that they think will take the eyes off their business so they go and do something idiotic like .."

" Like beating up the most wonderful person I've ev'va met because she loves me and not some damn boy. I want so badly for it to be me in that bed and not Blair." Jo confessed.

" Oh, and I want so badly for the world to hurry up and change already. Then it wouldn't be either one of you. You both deserve the same as every other in your lives." Misses Garrett responded.

" Thanks Misses G. I'll take the first round of setting you're old ya' need your rest. " Jo said as complementary as always.

" Well, gee thanks you whipper snapper you. But I don' quite remember the dinosaurs you know. " The older woman quipped.

So bagan almost two painful days of setting, waiting, watching, Blairs mother had showed up to visit. Tears rolling down her moviestar makeup job she didn't even bother dabbing.

Jo was sitting in the emptied out hospital room while Blair mom and Edna had gone for bad hospital coffee. Flipping through the channels on the television.

She was watching montser truck rallies. When she heard a familiar but missed voice say to her. " Oh, god I've died and gone to hell. If that's on, "

Jo nearly jumped out of her shoes. " Blair ! You're awake !"

To Be Continued...


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